PRAYER

Prayer is LOVE
Prayer is a song of faith. Even when the music is silence.

Prayer IS HUMILITY

Prayer is abandonment

Prayer is inner solitude

Prayer is searching for and FINDING wonder

PRAYER IS THANKFULLNESS

Prayer is listening Prayer speaks through GOD'S word prayer is gentleness

Prayer is Giving.

Prayer is GRACE

Prayer is silence PRAYER is Acceptance

Prayer is a light in the greatest darkness

PRAYER IS KNOWING without seeing.

prayer is HOPE in the greatest despair

PRAYER IS FREEDOM in the truest terms.

Prayer is Peace

PRAYER IS LOVE

Thankyou to all those who offered kind words, thoughts and prayers over the last couple of days.

We ALL seem actually to be healthly at the same one time today!!!

Woohoo!

Thanks for putting up with the moan anyway.

The one bad side to this?

No more unlimited Mummy computer time :0(

lol ;0)

tHINGS WE HAVe BEEN UP tO :0)

My daughter made these sacrifice beads over Christmas. She made a few and gave some away as presents. These are the ones she kept for herself though.

They are fun and easy to make.

The idea for them comes from Saint Therese "The little Flower"

In her book, Story of a Soul her mother talks of the decade of beads Therese used to count her little sacrifices on.

Download Book

"But it is more amusing still to see Thérèse put her hand in her pocket, time after time, to pull a bead along the string, whenever she makes a little sacrifice."

Click on the link below for instructions and kits.

http://thelittleways.com/how-to-make-sacrifice-beads/

Randomness, Illness and How the important stuff is brought into full relief....

Another wave of viruses of some or other description has invaded this house!!! I feel like I should be painting some kind of warning sign outside the door and leaving a bucket of disinfectant at the gate as some sort of public service. We have just been inundated with one bug after another this winter:0(

Surely, Surely this means we must be immune till Midsummer. At least! Two healthy weeks would do at this point actually lol!

All this reminds me of my last pregnancy. I was really sick at some points during it. I suffered from severe hypothyroidism, chronic anemia and back pain, ( Seraphina was posterior and 10lbs at birth). I was completely out of action by the end of nine months. Sick, tired, and feeling like nothing but a burden. At 8 months I blacked out at the top of the stairs, my 13 month old
( Praise God) still in my arms as I somehow found the handrail and hauled myself across the stair gate.

Obviously I'm not anywhere near that sick at the moment but I still need a little moan :)

As a Mum especially a Mum to lot's of little ones, so much of energy goes into running everything and trying to keep cohesion and some semblance of order. It can be overwhelming.

And having to let go of everything because you're sick can often be even more trying.

Every little whine and cry distorts into an echoing ring of failure. Every little biscuit crumb on the floor as a sign that the whole fabric of life itself is falling apart!

Being sick certainly does two things that's for sure. One, it highlights all the areas of life I think I am in control of. The ones that keep me feeling good about myself, that make me feel as if I am fulfilling my role in life properly. From cleaning, to cooking, all the mummy stuff, general placating, administrating, organising and refereeing and Two, it absolutely forces me to let go of each and every one. I am not what I do anymore, I am simply left with what I am.
It seems so much easier to do than to be sometimes. Doing tends to cover up the imperfections within me a little, at least to my conscious mind. But here I am faced with an un-embellished reflection of who I am, outside of role and routine. I may not be able to make dinner but can I be absolutely patient and loving to my irritable child?
Essentially, I have to ask myself, can I show love in who I am rather than in what I do.

Life suddenly becomes very streamlined!

Prioritising is never so starkly necessary than when you are sick and many little people are relying on you.

Only those things that are essential, bar none, to physical survival and sanity become important.

Everything else...ends up... well ... in the laundry basket!

(i.e, in need of a good wash, iron out and tidy away.)

So here I am feeling a bit yuck!

My husband, bless him took the afternoon off. So I'm recuperating.

The dishes are overflowing, the house smells of baked beans and wet wipes.

The children had cereals for lunch.

And Yes.. the laundry basket is overflowing!

But the things that really matter are present and intact. The only things we really have any control over at the end of the day anyhow.

Because all the rest is building blocks. The tangible expressions of the love we have for each other. Without that love all things become nothing but nicely arranged debris. Meaningless and empty.

So sometimes I am forced to be still. Realise that control isn't as important as intention.

Forced to be silent when I want to speak out.

" No don't do it like that, I always do it this way"

And just accept.

Hang on to the essentials.

And in a funny way all this brings the essential stuff into full relief. It highlights what's really important to our family life in bold letters. And before long the facade of chaos blurs into the background.

The pots and pans clatter, but somebody is making soup for me. Glitter speckles the kitchen floor but it's the picture for Mummy my daughter proudly holds that I see.

Nothing that is glued together with all that good and important stuff, love, prayer, faith, joy, kindness, compassion, and togetherness ever really falls apart under trial. It only gets stronger.

dOWN IN THE rIVER tO pRAY

"The man brought me back to the entrance of the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was flowing from the south side.As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. He asked me, "Son of man, do you see this?"

Ezekiel 47:1-6

At a certain level a body of water will submerge us completely.

We may barely see our feet in the depths below. Certainly the length and breadths of a vast ocean are indiscernible from the view of a little boat caught in the midst of undulating waves.

When we are immersed in water, it's very substance overpowers us. Although it is only a liquid it quells our movements, we cannot react the way we would on land, it envelops us entirely.

Faith calls for every one of us to step out into the waters, and the further we go, the higher the tide line marks us.

When we take a look back at the shore and see how far away the land looks trouble and fear stir and swell also. It's strange how the land always seems further away than it really is isn't it?

Abrasive questions begin to erode, like harsh tides against chalky cliff edges. Places of perspective, dissolve.

Am I doing the right thing? Am I going to far away from everything I thought I knew before? Worldly realities, securities, promises? Do I really want to abandon everything on the sand dunes?

Questions shiver and tremble within, fear confuses and confounds. We feel the coldness. Is it meant to feel this cold ? Surely not. I thought this was the way toward the light!

The sun seems to dim as it sets, diluted by the dark depths of the water. The horizon seems more and more distant, the harder we swim.

In fear we glance back to the safety of the shore behind us.

Then we remember. Isn't Looking back like this is exactly what Lot's wife did. The water evaporated in that moment and she was turned to a pillar of salt.

King James Bible "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."

Sometimes it can feel like I am right in the deep end even when in reality my feet are barely skimming the shallows!

Yet if I choose to follow God's voice I am always going to be called a little out of my depth. It's the only way I have a chance of learning how to become a strong swimmer!

And swimmers, however strong they are, are always given the advice that should they ever get caught out of their depth they mustn't waste energy fighting against the tides and currents.

Spiritually speaking these currents are sometimes their to draw us closer to the horizon so to speak, toward "the sun that never sets". Toward God.

And we can let the water take our weight upon itself. Take us without a struggle. Be moved without a fight. Be still. Float.

Turn our backs on the unfathomable depths of water below and sky above.

Rest in faith alone.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139.

"Christ has turned all our sunsets into dawns"

Clement of Alexandria (c.150-c.215) Theologian

99 balloons

http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons

This is very special.
99 Balloons.
A truly humbling story.

MY WEEK

my week… borrowed from Christ's Rose
24 01 2008

Work = fullfilling
Home = overflowing (in everyway lol!)
Head = still functioning ;0)... just
Mood = grateful
Friends = uplifting
Family = joyfulmessybeautiful.
Prayer = essential
Reading = enlightening
Bible study = comforting
Awareness = growing
Sleep = hehe!
Fun = lot's of it
Love = always

wHY DON'T YOU hAVE A gO AT THIS TOO :0)

Spirit of Peace

Meme

meme.
I was tagged by Therese from Aussie Coffee Shop.

Here are my answers.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? No, My Mum just like the name Susan and couldn't get it out of her head. She is the only person who still calls me Susan though!


2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday. I was watching a film called "The Tale of the Weeping Camel" with my kids. It was really emotional. To be honest it doesn't take much for me to cry. I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm happy and sometimes I simply cry for no reason in particular :0)
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? When I really make an effort to write neatly I do. Unfortunatly most of the time I'm too busy and just scribble nonsensical lists for my poor long suffering husband:0)

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Prociutto.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes. Four gorgeous little girlies.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably. I hope so anyway lol!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No. It grates on me.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?Yes.


WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. No no no no no no no no nooooooooooooo!


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Granola.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? For the life I've been given yes. I'm strong when it comes to my faith. I know very well that without God I would be nothing. Before my faith grew I was definatly very weak.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cookies and Cream and Green and Blacks dark choclate and french vanilla.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their warmth, their kindness, their sadness, their joy, their pain, their shyness, their confidence, their level of peace.

15. RED OR PINK? Pink! I'm a girly girl! Rose pink though not barbie pink.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? My shyness.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My Husband's family who live abroad.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue denim jeans but I'm barefoot in the house.
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pitta bread, Hommous, salami, olives, with vinigarette. Mmmmmm. Delicious.

20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My 8 month old mumbling away in her cot. She " talks" in her sleep already.

21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow. It's bright and sunny.

22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Flowers, herbs, cinnamon. Woodlands, sea breezes, rain. My babies hair.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Kath. My surrogate Mum.
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I'm not really a sports fan.

25. HAIR COLOR? Blond

26. EYE COLOR? Blue

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

.28. FAVORITE FOOD? Italian and French..


29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings! And a big box of tissues.

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Weeping Camel

31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Beige

32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer.

33. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs, lot's of them.

34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Fruit crumble, or apple pie with custard.

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? The Flowering Tree. Caryll Houslander.

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? No mouse pad next to our computer. Poor mouse!

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Nothing.


38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? My daughter tinkling on the piano. My girls giggling together. Birds singing in the tree outside my bedroom window. Rain on the windows, when I'm warm and snug inside my house.

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? California

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I like to paint and draw alot, I also like to write POEMS

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Shoreham by Sea. United Kingdom.



This meme is pretty long. I tag the following. A Truckers Wife, Unexpected Journey,
What I Choose Today, Happy Hearts At Home

Okay this is an important question....

WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH ARE YOU?

You Are a Ham Sandwich

You are quiet, understated, and a great comfort to all of your friends.Over time, you have proven yourself as loyal and steadfast.And you are by no means boring. You do well in any situation - from fancy to laid back. Your best friend: The Turkey Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsandwichareyouquiz/outcome.php

Borrowed from Happy hearts at home: http://happyheartsathome.blogspot.com/

Soft sunlit memories

Stumbling over green clumps of soft earth.

Two little girls run against the currents of a gushing wind, that hurls itself across the hills and valleys, scoring tracks in the long meadow grass.

Red cheeks like apples shining in the sun of a girl's soft smile.

Eye's filled with wonder and expectation glance up at a sky worn to cloudy rags with the day's cares and traces of tears that can't be explained.

The glinting of light through naked branches and skeleton leaves.

Bleaches out the damp bruises of ruminating clouds.

Perched upon the mossy gate.

The dreams of children reach beyond a gaze in the distance.

The branches of trees grasp the fading light.

And turn to charcoal in it's cool fire.

Long grasses pick up the whispers of the wind.

A song without words

An Infinite Moment

The beginning of a new year brings to mind priorities.

Beginnings remind us of endings and in so doing allow us to realise more vividly than usual that every moment is infinitely precious.

"Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations."

(Khalil Gibran)

A friend of mine was reading a book of mathematics and came across an interesting idea based on Zeno's paradoxes:

It was an idea that proposed that infinity can be held within a moment.

For example, if you turn a light on for two minutes, then turn it off for one minute, turn it on for 30 seconds then turn it off for 15, each time halving the time as you turn it on and off, when does the time end? Does the light flicker on and off infinitly?

If every moment springs from an eternal source every moment surley contains the properties of eternity.

There is the potential to realise eternity in reflections of beauty, light, joy, grace and love in the infinite moments of everyday life.

And each thought, action, desire and intention whether positive or negative resonates beyond itself in someway. Impacting others and ourselves beyond our realisation.

Time is not simply a two dimensional, linear measurement of space. It has a volume and depth which touches beyond the markings that seperate days from nights and hour's from years.

So when my day begins, and the first moments of my waking, open my eyes. I begin!

I have the chance to begin again with every breath I take.

"I am going away with him to an unknown country where I shall have no past and no name and where I shall be born again with a new face and untried heart. "

(Colette)

And with that thought there lies another question. Before I go to sleep at night what is left? What might be drawn from the long shadows of another day done?

How many extraneous worries, doubts, fears and barriers may I have to subtract before finding what was truly important in that day. What was truly infinite in the hours and moments it contained.

What part of me is the eternal part?

Do I keep that part of my consciousness roused from moment to moment? Is it awake?

Is it the crest of the wave which brings me into shore, or does it sink to the bottom of my to-do' list and the day's dirty laundry?

Is the mirror which reflects only light the first thing I clean and wipe the dust off before I start my day or do my housework and chores come first?

Maybe I have to do some subtracting.

Peel back the layers.

Become hollow like the reed.

"There is an emptiness like the hollow of a reed, the narrow riftless emptiness which can only have one destiny: to receive the piper's breath and to utter the song that is in his heart.."

"And take repose, while music infinite
Is silence in your heart; and laid on it
Your reed is mute. "

( Caryll Houselander)

Every fragment of self, every moment of time a whole entity within itself containing the truth and the light of all.

From the smallest particle of dust to the enormity of a supernova. All are marked with the fingerprints of their creator. All hold the secrets of his love. Like the folded petals of a rose, cupped hands recieving the host, hollowed rocks that time erodes.

"10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe."

(Ephesians 10 )

The Whole measure is meant for us. Not small portions. No fragments of self, No allotments of life.

To become whole, we are asked to give all.

"How fortunate are you and I,
whose home is timelessness: we who have wandered down
from fragrant mountains of eternal now
to frolic in such mysteries as birth
and death a day (or maybe even less)."

ee cummings

A related link from Holy Experience

kairos andchronos

Winter Sunset

This photo was taken on a walk through our local woods last weekend.

I just love winter sunsets. The way the bare branches of the trees silhoette against the golden sky.

Believe it or not this picture was taken at 3:30 pm!

The days are so short this time of year. However the beautiful sunsets do compensate:0)

View From The Pews: The Tone Of The Voice

HERE'S A GREAT POST FROM
View From The Pews: The Tone Of The Voice

eNJOY

Increase My Love

Let love be the sweet elixir that awakens your spirit and moves your soul to dance.
Let your love be like the misty rain, coming softly but flooding the river.
Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

(Rossiter Worthington Raymond)

The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

(Helen Hayes)

Love is the only flower that grows and blossoms without the aid of the seasons.

(Kahlil Gibran)

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

(Song of Solomon 8:7)

May my love increase...

May my thoughts, be thoughts that increase my love.

May my words be words, that increase my love,

May my actions be actions that increase my love,

May what I resist increase my love,

May what I yield increase my love,

May what I recieve increase my love,

May what I give increase my love,

May what I read increase my love,

May what I write increase my love,

May what I say increase my love,

And the silences that remain increase my love.

Between even the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, if they succeed in loving the distance between them it is possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.

(Rainer Maria Rilke)

The Epiphany

(Adoration of the magi, Giotto, fresco Padua)

"and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.

10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.

11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh."

(KJB translation .)

fUNNY gIRLS :0)

Here's a picture of my favourite comedy duo of all time.

They are a real double act.

Partners in crime. They work as a team to sneak snacks from the treat cupboard whenever Mummy isn't looking :0)

Don't you think they look a little Laurel and Hardy here heehee!

Here's a little gem from this evening :0)..."Oh Mummy can I have "Cheeky Massala" for dinner tonight." Piped up one little Bujana Grace. (aka girlie no.2)

She meant Tikka Masala of course :0)She's so funny!

Mummy Interrupted )

Sometimes it's good to be interrupted...

Yes it's easy to get frustrated when things don't go to plan, or time wriggles out of your control.

Yet time, graciously, cannot be micro managed with 3 little ones under four and a nearly ten year old however hard you try, so I have given up. Completely.

Okay the baby just woke up... Perfect timing;0P

...Okay all is quiet once more so I'm back...

Though right before that the other baby woke up too. The big baby. She'll be two in February and still likes her Mummies arms to rock her back to sleep after she wakes.

And so it is.

My days are not mine, my hours, my minutes.

My moments of peace. My joy, sorrow, frustration, impatience, fear, wonder and grace. They are not my own, I don't own them, they do not belong to me. And I am glad.

The way things are with a young family as a Mother surely makes this realisation evident. And while I struggled against this fact with babies number one and two, three and four most definitely called for a complete resignation of control. There was no other way!

My time was not my own even BB (before babies or before bedlam) insert that which applies best:0) I just didn't grasp the concept in practice so clearly before:0)

As I rocked my little/ big baby in my arms trying not to disturb her elder sister who sleeps beside her, a soft, quiet joy, pure and blissful , undetectably seemed to find its way into my heart. My thoughts must have stilled and cleared a space for it to pass.

As I became more aware, a gentle wave of calm washed through my tired arms, and refreshed my eyes, which had been aching for sleep.

When my eldest girl awoke, (it was bound to happen) she began to sing in a quiet voice; "Hush little baby, Hush don't you cry, the angels are watching and I am here close by."

The song from her nativity play barely weeks before. The peace that nothing else mattered but this moment left me suspended.

Yet the feeling of my little ones body, heavy with sleep in my arms, couldn't be captured or held down like an image imprinted on paper or a static photograph placed in a frame.

The most beautiful things in life can't else they lose all their meaning.

Like a poem, brief and essential, one breath of truth. Over too soon.

So my focus found the details that mattered in the dark, letting everything else fade away into the background.

The words I had began to write, the book I was reading, the laundry still tangled in a untidy pile downstairs, the cups on the draining board, the toys on the floor, the early night I had promised myself faded away while the details of the moment grew more vivid and defined.

My little girls soft hair, smooth and shiny, the soft down of babyhood almost grown out completely. The way her small hand clings as I rock her, head nuzzled under my chin, the sweet scent of milk still warm on her breath.

Before long she'll be grown. Full of self conscious words and long limbs just like her eldest sister.

But now, for this moment, time pauses in the darkness of this room. I'm glad I paid attention.

I'm glad these seconds were stalled for me tonight.

I'm glad I was interrupted:0)

New Year Promise

http://holyexperience.blogspot.com/2008/01/2008-set-to-soar.html

This is such a beautiful piece of writing from Ann @ Holy Experience about the promise of a New Year.

I encourage you to click on the link above to read it, I'm sure you will find as much beauty in it as I did:0)

Much love and peace

Suzy

HAPPY NEW YEAR