Thursday, August 23, 2007

My patchwork Quilt


The patchwork of my life, the colours, the patterns, the textures, the y a r n s, are all part of a beautiful set of materials that God has provided. My job is simply to put it together piece by piece, square by square, thread by thread.

Some parts of the patchwork quilt which make up my life create a simple pattern. They follow a set of steps which repeat themselves over and over again like a mantra, a meditation or a prayer.
These are the day to day routines the "small things" that need to be "done with great love."
The stitches that put these pieces together are not elaborate, impressive or particularly special at first glance, but they are the strongest stitches of all, they border the whole design, they hold it all together, stop it fraying at the seams and unraveling to the centre.

Some of the pieces of fabric have great intricate tapestries woven into them.
These pieces are the ones which tell the stories, create the theme, define the colours and patterns to which everything else must match. It takes time and patience to complete these pieces properly, carelessness and haste can easily spoil their precious beauty. However once they are put into place everything starts to make sense. The narritive of the design gains coherancy and all the disparate parts start to fit together easily the way they were always meant to.
No one part of the design is greater or more important than another. Each and every piece is cut perfectly to fit around the next.
I have to remember that it is not my design though, my life's design will always belong to God. It is only my job to realise it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A note to my friends "outthere"

As a new term at uni is just about to commence, (my books arrived yesterday) and the children will be returning to school, dear husband to work. I shall only be making weekly posts from now on. I'll certainly continue to visit my favourite online haunts however:0) There are so many great writers out in blogland and I feel privallged to have "met" them and read their wonderful words:0)

Monday, August 20, 2007

A few of my Favourite Things

Here's a fun idea borrowed from Amy's fabulous retro blog http://petticoatlane.wordpress.com/
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A few of my favourite things
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mmm let’s see, ..ooooh I know...
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An uninterupted cup of earl grey after a sunday morning lie in. ( if only :0) sigh...
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A nice glass of red wine on a beautiful summer evening,
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Flower print dresses,
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Sunlight glinting through the branches of trees,
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Handmade knitted cardigans on babies and children,
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Autumn leaves,
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The sound of the sea.
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Country cottages with roses round the door,
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The sound of children’s laughter,
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Stain glass windows in old churchs,
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A smile from a stranger in the street,
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Old fashioned dressing tables,
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Handsewn quilts,
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The sky reflected in muddy puddles,
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Candlelight and hot chocolate in the wintertime,
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Gingham picnic blankets, dappled grass and lemonade in the Summertime.
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So what are your favourite things???

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007

In my Brokeness

FRAZZLED

Frazzled.

Sometimes one simple word just absolutely, wonderfully encapsulates a feeling in both it's descriptive imagery and it's sound.

The texture of the word frazzled just tingles the edges of my mouth. It's definitely a mental form of pins and needles. And yes, as you may have guessed, today I am feeling a little tired ;)


There was a time, when I had all the time in the world.
Melancholy lingered like a stale fragrance through many of those days. Why? I was free wasn't I? Free of responsibility, free to do whatever I pleased, so why did my freedom feel so much like shackles rubbing against my skin? Why now when my life is a mirage of ceaseless activity does my mind (however frazzled) exhale into a gentle peace at the end of each day.

Jesus has been there for me during times when I half ignored him. Even when I was hardly aware of him he recognised the lost child behind the vacant stare. He followed me along dark roads and held my hand even when I didn't notice it. He walked with me even when I did not walk with him. He reached for me beneath the debris of many broken days and from the shattered shards of my past he created a beautiful picture as a design for my future and invited me to step into it and make it real.

I so badly want to become worthy of the blessings he has bestowed upon me.

So no matter how "frazzled" I may sometimes feel, I know that every spare inch of my life is used for the purpose it was designed for. Because the experiences I go through by leaning on his understanding instead of my own are the ones that will bring me closer to to HIM.
IN MY BROKENNESS

So often it seems I am given such joy if I am able to give praise through both the ups and downs.

I remember a time in the past when when I was carrying our second daughter and we were desperately trying to find a house. Many, trials came to test us, during that time and I kept praying, through my tears for God to offer solutions. To magic away all our struggles, like a magician with a wand.

These were all the wrong prayers. We needed to go through that time. We needed to face these problems
with God.

And it is true that God often only shows us the reason's for our experiences after the fact.

That time in our lives taught me to hold true, endure and keep faith no matter what. There is a greater plan at work that we cannot always be aware of.

If we had not been in such difficult circumstances we would never have met one of the most special people in our lives. This was someone who simply saw another in need of a temporary shelter and took them in without question. The message of the gospels acted out and lived. This person has now become an adopted grandparent to my girls and an adopted mother to us. A truly wonderful person, we are so lucky to know and love.

God's grace is not always about incredible ecstatic experiences. The holy spirit's fire does not always set our hearts aflame and sometimes our experiences and day to day issues seem far removed from what we assume is holy but every small challenge, however ordinary, presents an opportunity for growth.

Sometimes the spirit moves inside us with just a gently glowing candle.

Sometimes we are called out into the desert, where difficulties seem almost to much to bear and God seems just to far out of reach. This desert experience is referred to within many religions not just Christianity. Yet it is in the wilderness that we learn to seek God first. Sometimes we have to go through desolate times in order to allow God's presence to increase in our lives and allow our sense of self to decrease. In the aboriginal culture, one of the rights of passage for young men is to go out into the bush on a "walkabout" They are sent out into the desert where they must survive, alone, until they are able to find their own way back home.

Sometimes we are called to endure things on God's grace alone. But there are many oasis in the desert that he has provided for us to drink from on our journey and in the end, we are often lead to a better place than the one we had left behind.

I heard a wonderful quote many years ago: "Suffering is the womb of truth" And it continues to echo in my heart to today. Suffering is where we grow in understanding of the truth, the truth about ourselves and the truth about God.

It seems that God often asks for us to come forward first.

Believing opens our eyes to seeing just as giving opens our heart to
receiving.

Showing patience when the last thing you feel is patient brings with it the reward of patience.

Being grateful for every last blessing through the haze, of days, of ups and downs, through struggles and joys alike brings with it the reward of contentment.

Forgiving ~truly~ forgiving brings the reward of peace.

And Loving brings the greatest reward of all ~LOVE~


So I praise you Lord in my brokenness.


I praise you on my knees,


I come to you as a little child




I give you my tears


'Till they evaporate into your light.





To give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
Isaiah lxi. 3.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Love in the Home



Love in the Home

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper--not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness--not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh. Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.
Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens salvation's message to a child's heart.
Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God's perfection of my child.
As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
- Author Unknown

The Remedy



The Remedy for frustration
Peter 1:5,6
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
Let the Lord do it through you --- in His way and in His time.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

The Remedy for stress"
Come to me, Ye who are weary and over burdened. I will give you rest
Matthew 11:2
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The remdy for discontent
"I have learned in whatever state (circumstances) I am, to be content." (
Philippians 4:11)
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The Remedy for anger
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Proverbs

The Remedy for anxiety
And why are you anxious about what to wear? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say to you, that even Solomon in all his glory is not arrayed like one of these.
Matthew 6:28-29

The Remedy for defeat
With men it is impossible; but to God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

The Remedy for weariness
Who refreshes others will be refreshed.
Proverbs 11:25

The Remedy for uncertainty
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. -
Proverbs 3:5,6
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The Remedy for fear
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
John 4. 18.




Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Child of our times




In modern society the media has an incredible level of influence over us. We are saturated in images of all kinds and bombarded with advertising, often subliminally, without our conscious realization.

Children are so very vulnerable to dominant ideologies present within all types of media. Children spend much less time in adult company than ever they did before and as a result their identities are primarily moulded by the shape of the outside world (their peer group, and the stylised reality created by film, television, video games and the music industry) The dynamics of family relationships within the context of the home have changed so dramatically over the last 60 years or so. The concepts of respect, coop oration and personal responsibility are not nurtured within a loving, secure and safe environment under the gentle guidance of adults as they used to be. This has created a generation of children that are simultaneously both intellectually advanced, worldly, sophisticated yet emotionally underdeveloped and often not mature enough to cope with the onslaught of information presented to them. The countless choices available to us these days has in many ways become restrictive we become paralysed by indecision. Equally children have become, sadly it seems, quite desensitised to the pure simple joys of life. Their brains work at the speed of scene changes in a movie sequence. Life has become so super fast and super charged. There is no space for kids to just be. Their is no millimetre left between for creativity to seep, for dreams to grow, for contentment to meander through in search of simple carefree joy. And shouldn't that be what childhood is all about. Simplicity, security, joy?


According to popular representations within the media, girls have to use their sexuality to succeed, to be popular, to be admired, to find somebody to love them. It seems to be unquestionably assumed that the way a person looks both reflects and determines their level of success in life. Equally, the amount of money one earns equates with their level of influence and importance in the world. Boys have to be tough and unemotional, life should never get to serious, feelings should never run to deep, honesty doesn't apply unless used as a power tool to intimidate, dominate and control others. Judging those less intelligent, powerful and fortunate than ourselves has become a national past time. And we wonder why everyone is so defensive, anxious and unsatisfied?!?!?

I have four little girls and I certainly restrict much of their exposure to all types of media. I want them to learn compassion, I want them to grow into their personalities naturally instead of superimposing them from a montage of characters on a television show. I want them to hold true to their beliefs and not feel they have to compromise them to fit in. I don't want them to think that they have to have the coolest clothes and the newest toys to be popular with their friends.

I want them to stay children within the safe realm of childhood for as long as they need to. It is such a precious time. It is the foundation on which the rest of a life is built. It should be cherished. It should be sacred.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Sharing a few of our Summertime Activities









You are not alone




Sometimes all we need to do is be still and acknowledge that God is right there with us. Standing beside us through it all.

Monday, August 13, 2007

My Wedding Day




My wedding day was a simple affair. We were married in a beautiful old Catholic church,

Although we were married in the morning, the church seemed to be draped in a soft candlelit veil and dewy sunlight, scattered fragmented shards of stain glass across the carved wooden pews and polished floors.

Pachabel's Canon, accompanied me up the aisle. My little girl dressed like a little satin rosebud exchanged my footsteps for petals.

A sudden silence seemed to fall around us as we said our vows.

Ripples of light, echoed words that made an eternal promise. To one another and God.

It was early March and, before we left the hotel where we were staying, we could see from our window that the rain had already spattered the pavements. Polishing the concrete up to a good shine.

I had to run from the car to the church doorway to avoid getting wet.

Yet, after the ceremony, as we came out onto the street, rain simply stopped. Almost to the second. Such a strange thing, I don't believe I 've ever experienced it before or since.

Through the city's steel sky the sunlight glinted like a jewel set in silver.

Before the day, I knew our wedding would not be "The Perfect" wedding on the outside we hadn't the money and Tani's family could not afford to attend. I had wondered queitly too,of our lack of planning and preparation, our lack of money. What about gifts for our guests? A cake ?... the list went on...

But where we lacked, God provided.

Our day was magical.

It wasn't about "the perfect princess dress", or the triple tiered cake, it wasn't about what kind of champagne we served, the reception entertainment, the seating arrangements or an elaborate gift list.

It was only about us.

My husband, I and God.

And it was perfect. Because marriage is simply that, stripped down to the essentials of our relationship with eachother and our relationship with God.
Our wedding day set our foot upon the path of our life together. No planning, just living, working, loving and being moment to moment together through it all, rain clouds and sunshine.... and the rainbows inbetween!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

TO LOVE


tO LOVE iS tO tOUCH tHE wINGS oFGOD

Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Simple Life


(c) Tomo Yun www.yunphoto.net/en/
Why is it that as humans we so often yearn for a simpler life. A life that is lived close to nature. Dreaming of our having our own little corner of the world in which we may retreat echoes of a longing within. A longing which aches to feel the dusty earth run between our fingertips and the soft grass beneath our feet.

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The salty mist of a sea breeze,

the fragile branches of a young tree straining toward the sunlight, ancient, chislled rocks and mountainsides eroded by time, fields of golden grain saturated in sepia and sunlight. Over ripe and peachy drunk midsummer sunsets.

Meadow flowers dotted like blotted ink within sweeping grasses,

the sound of water.

*In Kabbalah, the words "God" and "Nature" are synonymous.

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Maybe when we yearn for a simpler way of life. We are only trying to find our way back home

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There is a road in the hearts of all of us, hidden and seldom traveled,which leads to an unkown, secret place.The old people came literally to love the soil,and they sat or reclined on the ground with a feeling ofbeing close to a mothering power.Their teepees were built upon the earthand their altars were made of earth.The soul was soothing, strengthening, cleansing and healing.That is why the old Indian still sits upon the earth instead ofpropping himself up and away from its life giving forces.For him, to sit or lie upon the ground is to be able to think more deeplyand to feel more keenly. He can see more clearly into the mysteries oflife and come closer in kinship to other lives about him.

~ Chief Luther Standing Bear ~

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Humankind has not woven the web of life.We are but one thread within it.Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.All things are bound together.All things connect.
~ Chief Seattle, 1854 ~

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Friday, August 10, 2007

Earnesto Cardenal Quotation



All the beauty we see is like a trickle of water that leads us back to it's source


Earnesto Cardenal




An Echo in My Heart


I know what it is like to drift out into the isolation of open spaces, full of choices yet no peace. boundless, hopeless, meaningless. I went through alot of different experiences when I was young. Went right to the edge with them. Yet the echo which rebounded from them left nothing but an empty hollow sound inside.
The strange thing is that although I was far from God in my actions and choices. I always felt something good and loving near me. Ready to pick up the shards and debris on the ground and turn them to the light. A stain glass reflection of my pain turned into something, beautiful and loved. Something that could love back, like a reflection, an echo.
I always felt close to the concept of Jesus. Everything that Jesus stood for, all that he was as a spirit, a man, a saviour, a friend to the weak, the poor, the afflicted, and of course the sinners, seemed somehow very real to me.
During all the difficulties of my childhood.
I know that He ever left my side, however far away from Him I ever tried to run, His presence in my life remained true. Even during the times when I didn't realise it.


I could only describe my return to faith as being akin to a soft voice, in the distance, calling me toward it little by little. At first the voice was barely audible above the mess and noise of my own life but as I drew closer, it's sound slowly began to resonate more. As it became louder it began to reverberate throughout my surroundings, touching everything that was broken in the debris of my world with a gentle cleansing light. A light under which all things seemed beautiful and new. As time went by I realised that the voice I was hearing was actually coming from within me and had been all along. It was my own voice calling out like a prayer for God.


I had been praying without realising all along. The answer to my prayer was, still and true, creating an echo in my heart that has become endless.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

A Child

(c) Tomo Yun www.yunphoto.net/en/

Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them.


Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them.


Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from him.


Soft is the heart of a child: Do not harden it.
Pamela glenconner

Knitting; a metaphor for life!


www.whatifknits.com/

Knitting; a metaphor for life (who'd of guessed!)

mmmm... okay stick with me here for a minute. I've just rediscovered an old hobby. I used to love knitting as a child but somehow life just got in the way and I forgot all about it for a few years. Having a new baby to knit for is the perfect motivation for me to pull all my crumpled old knitting patterns out of the attic.

I want to teach my daughter some of the basics. Needlecraft is a dying art which is sad because it is something which can give a lot of pleasure, plus it is a worthwhile skill to have.

Knitting is incredibly therapeutic. When my head is tangled with a million different thoughts, all clamouring for attention. The methodical click, click ,click. of a pair of needles just seems to
UN knot them with a gentle rhythm. Before I know it, the frayed egdes of my mind have become transformed them into something much prettier! (And tidier :)

All forms of needlework require concentration, discipline, dedication and patience and because the end result is so satisfying the process doesn't seem like a chore. Rather, I think it can instill some of these qualities and virtues in a child without them even noticing it : ) In this way so much more is fashioned along with a new scarf, a hat, a pair of bootees for a baby. A sense of achievement comes along in tandem. I'll never forget the absolute pride my eldest had on knitting her very own daffodil yellow Easter chicken. Oh that Chicky has been loved so much his stitching has worn thin, his feathers tattered and half unravelled. However, regardless of his well worn condition he will be tucked up,cosy and warm under my daughter's pillow forever that's for sure:).

Another quality that knitting encourages is dedication.

Oh, how many times we have had to unravel dropped stitches and stocking stitched squares so full of holes you wouldn't even catch a fish in them!
Tangles of wool, fresh, soft and fluffy from the market, ending up grey, damp and matted from endless casting on, unravelling and casting on again.

My little girl doesn't give up. She is a determined little soul.

Weekend after weekend she muddled away with her own little ball of wool, on her own in her quiet little corner, cross legged upon the toy chest until, one sunny afternoon her wonderful, completed creation was displayed to all. Swinging like a flag from the masts of two chunky, bamboo needles.

A valuable lesson was learnt the day she completed her first really good piece. A piece worthy enough to make into a birthday present for a precious friend.

A stocking stitched scarf with gartered ribbing in lilac, grey and white Tasseled in pink.

Here's a metaphor :0)... Indulge me ;0)

For knitting you need a pattern, a design. Without an initial set of guidelines all manner of frustrations and calamities will arise. Trying to knit without a plan in place may well derive some very interesting results yes, but not very useful ones. One arm of a cardigan will be longer than the other, the border and cuffs won't match, whatever it is it will almost certainly be two sizes to small and the result of all your efforts? Nobody will wear it. It will be purposeless;)


Knitting is methodical, the results take time to be achieved. The more effort you put into it your garment more elaborate and beautiful the finished result will be. The more beautiful the end result, the more likely it is to be cherished as a keepsake for children, grandchildren, great grandchildren even. It will last and it's use will be of value to many.


These principles apply to so many aspects of life. Sometimes we learn quite a complex, ornate and beautiful pattern from the simplest of designs.

Chinese proverb
One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.

Whatever is done with dedication and determination, purpose and patience will always become something of value.




Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Just letting the light seep through...


Just letting the light seep through

as the people pass by.
No soil to put your roots,
no branch to carry you through
the storms. You'll fly,
Though
How you'll fly


(c0) Tomo Yun
www.yunphoto.net/en/


Sunday, August 05, 2007


Summertime Memories

I am sitting here in the soft golden hush of an early Summer evening. The baby is full and satisfied in slumber beside me. Her soft breathing sounds like the beating of a butterflies wings. It fills me full of peace.
It has been a lovley day here spent in the sunshine. We filled the big paddling pool in the back garden and the girls took it turns to slide into the water trying to see who could make the biggest splash! As you can imagine the lawn got a good watering.
Not that it needed it, everything has been so green this Summer with all the rain we've had.
It was so nice to indulge in a proper Summer day. A day full of melting icecreams, happy smiling faces, sunlight glinting through the trees and dappling the picnic blanket, crumbled cookies and sandwich crusts scattered on the grass and the sound of three squealing girls let loose with a hosepipe.
The little tin watering can we bought the girls was filled with leaves to make, apparently ( a nest for a baby bird, or maybe a mouse.) My three year old is very inventive ;) And our 1 year old found a frog in the undergrowth and as it hopped away to find a more reliable shelter she followed it by hopping cautiously along behind it :0) She is such a little character that one.