THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD

When Jesus spoke to the people again, he said:

"I am the light of the world;

anyone who follows me will not be walking in the dark;

he will have the light of life".

I remember walking along some dead end roads in the in the not so distant past. Unsure of what choices to make for the best and feeling overwhelmed by the array of different directions, presented to me with each new step that I took. I was intent on survival, that I knew, it was my priority and I sought out the paths that seemed to offer me all that I required, all that I dreamed of, all that I wanted, all that was familliar, all that I already new. I felt compelled to seek out security, find an insurance policy that covered any eventuality. And the further I went, and the harder I tried, the more I tierd. At last I became paralysed with indecision and I fell to the ground and onto my knees. (I think that there is not a person alive who has not felt broken at least once) At that point the only place left for me to go was the place I had come from. I had to find myself at the beggining. I wanted to find myseelf like I was when I was a child. I looked at the long that I had left behind, I retracked my steps into the distant darkness, looking in vain for some neon signpost that would point me in bright, new direction. I searched along the ground for an easy way out, a detour, an escape route. As time wore on and the endless, blue skies of my childhood hopes began to fray at the edges and peel away from the sun I stumbled more and I dreamed less. Slowly I realised that just as footprints in the sand are washed away by the tides so these paths were leading me nowhere and leaving me nothing. I was walking in circles and not even realising it. I began to question my original perceptions: is security, as defined by the world achievable; is it fundementally an illusion? Can we minimize risk and failure, cultivate the perfect climate for nurturing fullfilment or find a formula for happiness? Aren't our attempts at designing the blueprints for our lives essentially futile. By taking complete control are we fragmenting ourselves from the original piece, the whole. Are we disconnecting from Gods light, the only light that can not be dowsed in the darkness of isolation, fear, suffering and anger?

With questions, a fragile hope, forgiveness, humility, gratitude and love I began my first steps on a new and sometimes difficult path. And he starlight of Gods will, Gods direction, Gods promise and Gods love is what I try my hardest to sail by today.