With inspiration from the
1ooo gifts list over at Holy Experience...
I'm counting mine everyday...
in faces of joy,
giggles,
sisters becoming best ever friends,
kicking up grass in the garden playing tag,
the laughter (and tears) that come with growing, learning and forgiving one another on a daily basis.
Seraphina's funny faces,
Matilda's funny expressions,
Bujana's sincere heart,
Emmy becoming a beautiful young lady before my eyes, strong, certain of her beliefs yet full of gentleness and compassion for everyone.
Listening to Emmy read chapters of "Little Women" or "Hinds Feet on High Places" or her favourite parts of the Gospels while I sew in the evenings.
Cuddling up in on blankets and cusions in the garden in the afternoon with Bujana reading stories and picture books.
Listening to shrieks of joy as 3 littlest girls splash in the cool of the paddling pool.
Hearing my husband read fairy stories to my youngest girls behind me right now, with gentleness and fun and silliness, giving each character a funny voice, stopping now and again to chat about the pictures... "look Tilda this princess must be you, she's all in pink"
The soft breath of a summer breeze against the curtains.
Lavender oil foot rubs for the girls after a bath time.
The girl's summery, patterned printed dresses blowing on the line in the afternoon.
The prayers and love of true friends who accept me just as I am, flaws and all.
My mother bringing sweet peas from her garden for us today on a surprise visit, as she does, , and when she does never forgetting to bring little treats for the girls in brown paper bags ( jelly babies, raisins, trail mix, white sugar mice or berries)
Emmy's maple and lemon sponge pudding with custard after Sunday dinner.
Chatting with my "little big" girl about this that and everything else, listening to her thoughts.
Sitting out in the garden in the evening with my husband, sharing the day, laughing about silly things and amazing at the blessings God has brought us.
Yesterday my little girl Emmy became an adult in the church. She got confirmed!
How the tears welled up from my heart, happy tears, till all they could do was roll themselves unselfconciously down my cheeks...
My Father who is very ill made it somehow and what beauty came from that. He had tears in his eyes too. I caught them before he noticed.
The air truly trembled with the breath of the holy spirit within the church. Joy in abundance!
What a wonderful thing to witness!
The Bishop spoke about what it means to truly live with the spirit in your life.
He said, that the way we can best "be" Jesus in the world and give Jesus to others is to truly and authentically be ourselves. Having fidelity to our true nature and the places it leads us.
I remember, years ago, thinking identity was like another layer, something you "put on".
Maybe it was a collage made up of pieces of the people you most admired. Maybe it was a front that protected your heart from being broken by the world. Maybe it was following the rules that help you become popular in school. Or the value you got from being especially good at something.
Maybe, sometimes, it just came down to a new dress and a coat of bright red lipstick.
But those are just billboards. True identity is all about taking the layers off one by one. Becoming at one with your true life, the life hidden in Christ. The real true you!
The you that fragments into others till you can feel their pain, forget to judge, understand and forgive their sin as you need them to yours.
The fragments that turn you into a piece of a bigger picture. A body that goes out from itself again into the world to love and be loved. To fall apart again and to be healed.
When the Holy Spirit touches us, no more do we belong to ourselves, but to something eternal.
And now my child, my dear Emmy (emmanuelle - "God with us") goes out into the world her heart forever changed, enlarged, anointed, and beating now not only for her own life but for His too.
