An Echo in My Heart

I know what it is like to drift out into the isolation of open spaces, full of choices yet no peace. boundless, hopeless, meaningless. I went through alot of different experiences when I was young. Went right to the edge with them. Yet the echo which rebounded from them left nothing but an empty hollow sound inside.

The strange thing is that although I was far from God in my actions and choices. I always felt something good and loving near me. Ready to pick up the shards and debris on the ground and turn them to the light. A stain glass reflection of my pain turned into something, beautiful and loved. Something that could love back, like a reflection, an echo.

I always felt close to the concept of Jesus. Everything that Jesus stood for, all that he was as a spirit, a man, a saviour, a friend to the weak, the poor, the afflicted, and of course the sinners, seemed somehow very real to me.

During all the difficulties of my childhood.

I know that He ever left my side, however far away from Him I ever tried to run, His presence in my life remained true. Even during the times when I didn't realise it.

I could only describe my return to faith as being akin to a soft voice, in the distance, calling me toward it little by little. At first the voice was barely audible above the mess and noise of my own life but as I drew closer, it's sound slowly began to resonate more. As it became louder it began to reverberate throughout my surroundings, touching everything that was broken in the debris of my world with a gentle cleansing light. A light under which all things seemed beautiful and new. As time went by I realised that the voice I was hearing was actually coming from within me and had been all along. It was my own voice calling out like a prayer for God.

I had been praying without realising all along. The answer to my prayer was, still and true, creating an echo in my heart that has become endless.