New Year Ponderings...

First of all I would like to thank you for your comforting words :0) Tilly is on the mend. Thanks be to God! She is playing with Emmy with her Christmas toys as I write. We are all feeling so light today just knowing she is getting well again :0) And I find as I look outside today, I am enamoured by the still and stark white, brown and grey hues of winter in the square whitewashed houses and slate roofs, brittle trees and frost tingeing the edges of the windows. All seems to have quietened into a moratorium of repose. something well needed. "For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, "In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15 * Last night Tani and I were talking and he was telling me about how when he was a kid he had an old rucksack that he used to keep a homemade "survival kit " in. This survival equipment consisted of know more than a few special stones, flints, a penknife, a favourite book, a pencil and some scrap paper:0) "With this bag I could do anything. I could go anywhere, I could go to the ends of the earth and know I would be okay, I had everything I needed to survive" How simple, how childlike, how wonderful such thinking is. ... No first aid kit, map, food or water in this "Survival Kit!" Children know better than that! Intuitively. Survival... the kind that can bring you through anything, right to the frayed edges of life, depends on more than the basic physical provisions. “That's why I'm telling you to stop worrying about your life—what you will eat or what you will drink—or about your body—what you will wear. Life is more than food, isn't it, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky. They don't plant or harvest or gather food into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. You are more valuable than they are, aren't you? Can any of you add a single hour to the length of your life by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Consider the lilies in the field and how they grow. They don't work or spin yarn, but I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. Now if that is the way God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and thrown into an oven tomorrow, won't he clothe you much better—you who have little faith? “So don't ever worry by saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ because it is the gentiles who are eager for all those things. Surely your heavenly Father knows that you need all of them! But first be concerned about God's kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be provided for you as well. " So I am taking my little metaphorical rucksack into the morning of the New Year with me :0) Filled with a little soul food..., a few soul provisions:0) Something that can nourish and sustain from the time I first look out of the frost tinged window, right through to the ebbing glint of evening light. Something that will steady my gaze along the horizon. The one that calls me on from the depth of my heart. The Kingdom. His Kingdom. My eyes will be diverted and distracted many times as they always are, but I know that all He asks is that I keep remembering to bring them back to seek His face once again. And I will falter and trip and fall and waver and fail as I always have done before. When I will try to take my strength from my own provisions rather than the manna freely offered. The bread I cannot store up for tomorrow however hard I try. The bread that is offered for each day as it comes. The bread that feeds from sun up to sundown, leaving only faith to bring me to tomorrow's offering. But I know that all He asks is that I give thanks for His giving and try to use what is given to give to others in return. Really I only need carry these essentials. And the yoke is easy and the burden light, when I put down all the things I think I need, to store, carry, hold on to. Things that wear me down and crush my soul as they over feed my senses and my body. Till am so full of the coarse dry, heavy dough of my own making, there is no room left to take the sweet manna anymore. Yet no matter how I flail and flounder, He will still be there in the horizon. His sun rising new each morning when I open my curtains and look out of the frost tinged window. He will still be there. "Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away." Matthew 24:35 "And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

Simple Love

 

 To love like a child. There's not much pure, vulnerable, childlike love in the world it seems. Yet maybe those that do open their hearts to love in this way, live in this way even, actually hold the broken pieces we do have together... We have so much to learn from children like Ashley's sister. Children don't over-complicate. They are simple, genuine, they are loyal, trusting and eager to reach out to both give and receive love. We try to find the origins to every word, turn ourselves inside out to distract ourselves from the real work of falling into Jesus's arms and loving others as he loves us. Loving when it's hard, loving when it's messy, loving when it hurts. Not giving up. Because He never gives up on us. It's not about who's wrong and who's right. It's about Jesus. And he keeps it simple, he says, it all begins and ends with love. That's the narrow road. Photo Credit florian.b

when only the eternal...

What of this life will count the day only eternity remains what of the time Ive had the things Ive built, created, made, the fabric of each day displayed Undone and bare as a winter branch beneath transparent touch of truth, A blossom grows silently at the end of a branch, maybe, On that day, I may find the end of myself there too Doodle poem prompt ( in 60 secs or less) courtesy of LL) inspired by this

Begin at Once...

"Begin at once; before you venture away from this quiet moment, ask your King to take you wholly into His service, and place all the hours of this day quite simply at His disposal, and ask Him to make and keep you ready to do just exactly what He appoints. Never mind about tomorrow; one day at a time is enough. Try it today, and see if it is not a day of strange, almost curious peace, so sweet that you will be only too thankful when tomorrow comes to ask Him to take it also."

-- Francis Ridley Havergal * * *

"Let love be your highest goal..." 1 Corinthians 14:1 Beautiful words found here from here today....

What comes between me and God? "Notes to self"

What comes between me and the kingdom of God? Is it fear, doubt, possessions, work, distracting pleasures, societies rules, shyness, my need to control outcomes, lukewarmness, weariness. my ideas of "perfection"? To understand I have to pause. I have to turn off all background noise. However important or worthy that noise seems, however relentlessly it pursues, I must put God first in my heart. Uncluttered, uncompromising. True, clear. I have to put aside all that hinders, all that rises between myself and the voice at the center of my soul which whispers soft and true above the storm, "Peace be Still". God is a loving Father, and however many times I fall, fail and flail, He is there to fold me beneath His wing as soon as I turn toward Him. "Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone." Psalm 33:22 There is no place deep, distant or dark enough to keep me from this Love unfailing. When all around seems in disarray I may turn toward His face. See Him, not the struggle. He will turn the struggle into a victory with my surrender a hundred times faster than with my striving. He works all things out for good and I can trust in Him like a child. The safe and steady hands of a carpenter shaping life and form and beauty from brittle wood. "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1 I can fill the open page of days I'm given with a story of His love, with eternal words that spin beauty and love into this fragile world. "Nothing is important except that which is eternal." "If thou walk inwardly, thou shalt not weigh flying words....Let not thy peace be in the mouths of men." End quotes taken from "If" and "Rose from Brier" by Amy Carmichael

"Song of the Silent Snow" {Reposted}

A gleaming, snow blanket wraps around the streets as far as the eye can see. Shivering through web like trees, torn, frayed thin. Spun to emptiness.
Weeping beneath the last leaves. Draping a loose knit shawl across the shoulder of the hill. Filling deep the valley.

It absorbs all sound and silence lingers far and wide.

We've been starting school late every day for a while now. Loose ends left untied. Seemingly unravelling.
I have fought tired to repair and patch the fabric of these "lost hours" into clean cut, utilitarian aprons till today.

This morning refused to stir the silence and shatter it's precious, fragility.
My eyes blinked at the stark lace work frosted upon the windowpane.

The unusual view prompted a new perspective.

I would preserve the space it needed to sing it's new, quiet song within the usually crowded chambers of my own heart.
The chambers that fill so easily with the clattering sound of a hundred voices calling me in all directions. A high ceiling room with perfect acoustics for the voice of the world to resound loud.
Drilling and dashing against my soul like hail. Raging daily soliloquy. Underlining points, numbers and strategies like a squeaky marker across an office white board...

Fit in, conform, be diligent in recognisable ways, create commercial products, work toward tangible results, make sure your children will be marketable, learn valued subjects, hoard, cram, revise, memorise, repeat.

Yet I am walking two tight ropes at the same time. One high, they other low. And I am losing my footing on both.

Maybe, sometimes it is good to fall.
I'm learning this as I dust the white flakes from my brow.

I fall hard on days like today.

Days when I fall from my expectations.
The criteria and check lists I've used as security blankets tighter than straight jackets. And I fall blue and icy, my own breath barely escaping from my mouth.

And I realise the ties must come undone.

I must come undone.

The days when the straight roman road of what seems sensible, leaves me weak and I drift down some small lonesome path in the brush. And I fall under the cover of thorns and wildflowers.

Today the snow falls silent around me. And I am buried. My home has become an igloo.
The murmurs of the world half a hemisphere away.

Today I let myself drift into the white blank canvas of the snow's silent wisdom.
I close off the world and open my heart to Him alone.
And His list is so different, so radically different. A yoke that is easy, a burden that is light.
He whispers soft as snow fleece caught upon the breeze.


" Just sit here with me a while. Don't rush away.
Is there any task more important than this? This listening?
Have you been following my lead? Really?
Are you doing only the things needful, the things that will matter eternally?
Do you really trust me to take your children and you along the paths I dug out and laid in truth, just for their feet? Do you really trust me to take you down the paths that I carved for you long before you were born. Way back through the dendrites of time?
You are trying to follow two paths, and your soul is falling through the divide between them.
Simply come toward me. Lean into my words. Draw close."

But Lord, we have no back up plan, financial or otherwise. I never followed the conventional route and I suffered for it in ways I wish to preserve my children from. I am afraid sometimes.
I can't catch every ball.

The still, silent snow drifts deep. I am wading out bare foot.

"Don't you see. You don't have to.
Drop them, drop every one that isn't given by my hand."

How do I know which ones are given by your hand?

"Have enough faith to stop the merry - go - round.
Sit still, listen. Embrace your journey.
It won't look like most journeys.
Most journeys are a grasping outward. A reaching, a striving, a gaining of ground.
Your journey will be a letting go of all that hinders, all that is not necessary.
Your journey will not be about striving but resting, in me.
Your journey will not be about making but meaning.
It will seem invisible. Your footsteps light, white.
Unnoticeable, day after day.
Evaporating in the morning, like prints carved in snow.
But they will leave an indelible mark within.
And they will form a path.
And it will guide your children through.
From Winter to Spring.
From Death to Life.
From your cradle to my manger."
Wasn't the manger, an animal trough filled with hay?
Was Mary fearful too, that night in the cold, damp cave, the sounds of a strange land dashing against the curved silence of her heart?

Maybe she wasn't listening to the hundred different voices. Maybe she sought out only one to hear and follow.


"My soul magnifies the Lord,
And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.
For He has regarded the low estate of His handmaiden,
For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name. And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with His arm:
He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted those of low degree. He has filled the hungry with good things; "


Maybe the winter trees have wisdom in their emptiness.
Maybe I should strive only to stay hungry.
Silent as snow.
So only He can be heard.
Magnified
Birthed.

Isaiah 58, What the gospel Demands,... He to whom much is given....

I have been really struggling over the last week or so. Since watching this series of talks on what the gospel demands.... Especially this one. lIFE shattering! And reading Isaiah 58 daily as a bible study with some friends... ... Sincerely, I've come to question so much about the way we live- I live as a christian. What is God asking of us - me? I was born here in an affluent country. My geography has placed me at an advantage over my brothers and sisters in developing nations. Here I have been scanning the Internet for home school materials while another child cannot even afford to learn to read and write. I see pictures of horrific poverty from the comfort of a PC screen. And what is my response? Is it the response of a follower of Jesus? What does God want me to do with this advantage, this privilege, this position? Indulge myself and my own at the expense of those at the door. Throw scraps from the feast at my table to those with nothing across water and continent? Can we -I be a Christian. a follower of Jesus and also be rich? And I am, rich.

How rich are you? >> I'm loaded. It's official. I'm the 384,123,909 richest person on earth!

We (as a family) have thought along the lines that we are not really rich simply because the bills take nearly everything by the end of the month. But, the very fact that we have bills means we have mainline electricity and clean water on tap.... on tap! It also means we have shelter for our family and our own transportation. This means we are most certainly rich.

• More than one out of six people lack access to safe drinking water, namely 1.1 billion people, and more than two out of six lack adequate sanitation, namely 2.6 billion people

• According to estimates, 100 million people worldwide are literally homeless. They have no shelter: they sleep on pavements, in doorways, in parks or under bridges. Or they sleep in public buildings like railway or bus stations, or in night shelters set up to provide homeless people with a bed.

The estimated number of homeless increases to 1,000 million people if we include those in housing that is "very insecure or temporary, often of poor quality - for instance, squatters who have found accommodation by illegally occupying someone else's home or land and are under constant threat of eviction; those living in refugee camps whose home has been destroyed; and those living in temporary shelters (like the 250,000 pavement dwellers in Bombay)". This is according to a 1996 report by the UN Centre for Human Settlements (Habitat).

At the most basic economic level, homelessness is caused by poverty and unemployment. The poor simply cannot afford adequate shelter.

The numbers would surpass 1,000 million if we include "all people who lack an adequate home with secure tenure (ie, as owner-occupiers or tenants protected from sudden or arbitrary eviction) and the most basic facilities such as water of adequate quality piped into the home, provision for sanitation and drainage".

*

We've been really praying over this. Asking God, what can we do? I am coming to believe that He is calling me in His word to leave all in His hands, to trust more and more in providence. To turn away from the fear that leads to tying up all our resources in accounts, insurances, pensions, and mortgages. There are so many who cannot afford housing which is a basic human need, simply because so many who can afford, stretch budgets to buy up property thus pushing the prices above and beyond what is acceptable or affordable. As I read and listen I see that really all we have been given are gifts from His hand, everything we have belongs to Him not us. How would God use the resources we have as Christians? Would He say go ahead, it's okay to have more than you need while there are people dying at the door? Or would God use what we have to clothe the naked, help the lost, feed the hungry, counsel the sorrowful? Some of us are given much so, that we can give much for His glory. Luke 12:48 "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." God gives us a time to embrace His love, grace, forgiveness and prosperity in His land for the time to pass along the abundance, the "overflowing cup" to our neighbours standing with empty hands before us. Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Deuteronomy:26 1-2 "When you have entered the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance and have taken possession of it and settled in it, take some of the firstfruits of all that you produce from the soil of the land the LORD your God is giving you and put them in a basket." Can being a Christian really become a state of mind and heart only? Doesn't living water not become stagnant and stale when not allowed to flow freely, from the plentiful river to the trickling stream to the empty cup in a child's hand? Faith in the word will transform my heart and mind till giving up and following becomes the only way to go. A narrowing road that leads only to life. A fearless road that trusts in providence in a radical way. A hard to see road that clears a way for the kingdom of God before the kingdoms of this world. Jesus put it plainly, he cut everything through with the sharp edge of the truth. He said, "Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." Speaking to the rich man who wanted to follow Him Jesus said... " How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God. For it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." We often think of nuns and monks who take vows of poverty, as something special. But their simplicity of living, believing, being is surely nothing but the basic acceptance of the gospel message for all Christan's. Can we be Christians who spend weekends shopping for more, making Christmas lists that indulge our every lust and engorge our homes with more "stuff".... Be in the mindset that always says bigger, better, more?.... Can we (I) as Christians hoard money, insure every inch of our lives, buy expensive food or products that have been bought for less than the farmer who grows them or the factory worker who sews them can live onto be shipped half way across the world for our convenience?... Is it possible? When a (conservative estimate) of over 25,000 children die each day from hunger.

Which is equivalent to:

• 1 child dying every 3.5 seconds
• 17-18 children dying every minute
• A 2004 Asian Tsunami occurring almost every 1.5 weeks
• An Iraq-scale death toll every 16–38 days
• Over 9 million children dying every year
• Some 70 million children dying between 2000 and 2007

Can we really say that we are followers of a gospel that says GIVE, at every turn? Is Jesus unacceptable to me the way He really is? I pray, pray, pray that I can accept Jesus and His word the way it is. And I pray, pray, pray that I can become acceptable to Him through living it like I believe it. Yes, Really believe it. Not just for the day that it suits me, but for the day when it doesn't. Cos' if I did- we did, really did believe ... Maybe the Kingdom really would come. The Kingdom that is an upside down, back to front kind of a place... When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying... " Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." But if we take the comforting words of the Bible to sooth and strengthen us, surely we must also take the ones that are hard and challenging with just the same confidence. Exodus 12:8 "That same night they are to eat the meat roasted over the fire, along with bitter herbs, and bread made without yeast" And don't these words, if really believed change perspective, transform heart, radically alter mindset and turn life upside down and back to front. In these passages from scripture, God is confronting us with the consequences of throwing scraps to the poor and walking grandly in our own self built cocoon of affluence. Luke 16:19-31

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

Isaiah 3: 14 - 26

The LORD enters into judgment against the elders and leaders of his people: "It is you who have ruined my vineyard; the plunder from the poor is in your houses

What do you mean by crushing my people and grinding the faces of the poor?" declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty.

The LORD says, "The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles.

Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the LORD will make their scalps bald."

In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, ¹⁹ the earrings and bracelets and veils, ²⁰ the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, ²¹ the signet rings and nose rings, ²² the fine robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses ²³ and mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls.

Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding.

Your men will fall by the sword, your warriors in battle.

The gates of Zion will lament and mourn; destitute, she will sit on the ground.

*

Ezekiel 16:49 "'The sin of your sister Sodom was this: She lived with her daughters in the lap of luxury—proud, gluttonous, and lazy. They ignored the oppressed and the poor. They put on airs and lived obscene lives. And you know what happened: I did away with them. * What it comes down to for me is is the Bible the truth. Is Jesus telling the truth. Do I believe it? * Thessalonians 2 "They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness." * The modern "rich" christian church has, in many ways become a powerful delusion. A cover up for a false religion. * James: 1 - 27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." * Culture, consumerism and materialism have become a powerful delusion. The only way to see through the delusion is to accept the truth to the point where it can be transformative in our lives. There are Christians dying and persecuted all over the world right now. And I wonder would we -I be able to stand up and suffer for Jesus in the same way. Right now I don't think I would. If I can't even follow the basics how will I ever have the strength to face the real tests of faith that so many Christan's have had to face over the centuries. Grace is given in the giving. If I can't give, how can I receive? Revelation 3: 15-18 "'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. ¹⁸I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. " I don't want to be lukewarm. I don't want to be blind to the suffering of 30000 children and countless more adults and old people every day. I don't want to simply throw scraps from my abundance. I want to learn how to give from my poverty. Like Deepa. Lord, awaken me to the suffering world, Give me the grace to give of myself, my time, my resources, my abundance, Knowing that they are yours not mine Each person a unique child in your sight beloved to you Give me eyes to see as you see The ears to hear the cries that you hear The faith to believe Your word truly as it is. Heal our comfort hardened hearts. Amen. Matthew 5 -13 "Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage." If We don't Live it properly, who will?

What lasts?

"Childhood Faith"
Charlotte Herczfeld

"You may build great cathedrals large or small, you can build skyscrapers grand and tall, but only what you do for Christ will last…. You may seek earthly power and fame, the world might be impressed by your great name, soon the glories of this life will all be past, but only what you do for Christ will last. Remember only what You do for Christ will last. Only what you do for Him will be counted at the end; only what you do for Christ will last."

Quoted from this article, linked from here.

To be Happy

Me watching Television for the first time in months, captivated. Bodies swinging, music thudding, heartbeats rising like heat wave. She said they danced and got drunk to express their joy. To be happy. The Amish girl in the long blue drape of dress, bobby pinned, white scarf hiding long golden hair was silent a moment. Staring somewhere afar her words came slowly, quietly, assuredly... "When I want to be happy I pray to God." She said... When I want to express my joy I praise God.... And I wonder... In which flower do I find my nectar? My joy. Sometimes there seem so many to choose from. Brightly coloured, fragrant, sweet. "You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.' Acts 2:28 In His presence my joy is awakened and I can praise too. 

The thankfulness, dew, upon parched lips... a prayer... Till I am quenched and thirsty no more. * * * A daughter who is a friend. Quiet pre-dawn mornings spent with candlelight, tea and His words. Children that never fail to help me take off the layers of my heart. The ache that draws me closer to His feet. Being able to help my parents when the need me. The joy of walking in Him regardless of what is going on around me. Apples stewing on the stove. Lavender biscuits baked by Emmy for breakfast. Some wonderful thrift finds over the weekend. Things prayed for and found when needed. Making crafts with my girls.... a great joy. The emerald green grass sparkling in sunlight after the rain.

Thankful for Grace

Slowly, quietly I come. Along this path again. my feet tread, my heart trembles. Like a bird inside my chest. The weeds can look like flowers too you know? Pretty, useful, important. Stuff. Entangles, distracts, turns the soil of my heart to parched clay. I stumble over briers I had not even noticed, I fall and feel, the barren ground of my soul. I need to stop. Turn. Gaze. And let the silence wash over me like a wave of clear, cool, water. These things, this stuff, worthless as dead idols. And I sacrifice to them time and time again, thinking that it's important to pay attention. Plan, organise, structure. Control. And the vine I planted is dying, the fruit is drying on the branch. And all the while I'm watering the weeds and leaving my garden to ruin. But the fragrance, the fragrance of the blossoms he left me all those years ago, Somehow still lingers on the breeze. Reminding me, waking me bleary eyed and sober. So I stand to walk again, along the waters beside the green, green pastures. A little gentler, a little smaller, a little softer, thankful. Always. Thankful for grace. "But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Photo by Emmy

..."and you will find rest for your souls"...

"learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

Jesus says there is a rest that comes with carrying the burden He gives.
Maybe this peace will not be for the body, neither the heart or the mind perhaps, but for the soul Jesus says here the soul will find it's rest. Embracing His burden, His yoke.

Maybe Jesus is saying that true peace can only be found when all is given for the soul, all is carried for the soul.
A deep peace for simply trying to do what God wills. Both simple and hard.

This peace comes along with the humble and gentle spirit which Jesus asks us to learn from Him.

These words humble and gentle rise and fall upon my heart. And I feel the sorrow of their absence well within. How I pray for them. How very far I am from them. I see patient, loving, generous, brave long suffering souls all around. While truly, I am like little fragments of mediocrity glued together by pride lol :)

A humble heart gives no resistance. A humble heart will not strive against humiliations but will embrace them.
And gentleness, is soft, crushed perhaps, broken? Probably. An empty state that cannot take or assert anymore, only give and accept.

A gentle heart must feel God's Love for hearts and their absolute need for His. Maybe only in carrying some of the burden of the broken is there relief, for the gentle soul.

And a humble spirit will stand aside while trusting simply in the stillness for itself. Knowing somehow, someway, He will come and lead her on with nothing of itself to give Him but it's willingness to be lead.

And there will not be that nagging fear of world's demands or standards or ideals. A humble and gentle spirit will be quenched by His will alone.

And there will be the rest.

There in the giving of all, to the carrying of Love's burden....

Ambition, ideals, idols, wants, desires, curiosities, failings, proofs, doubts...

There He will be with open arms giving,

The Peace Only He May Give.

Which is the One spiritual habit that has changed your journey ? (Holy Experience) Walk with Him Wednesday...

Ann asks this question today over at Holy Experience...
What is the One Spiritual Habit that Has Changed Your Journey?

And the one phrase that keeps coming back to my heart is this... eat regularly!

But this is food of the soul kind! And it is delivered by..
Regular Prayer stops throughout the day.

Even though I can't always find the words to pray the words find me. They have been written somewhere deep in my heart, by The One who made me. Like a seed, they simply need the watering to grow from the darkness.
And like this little sycamore, I need the courage to fall from what I know, what I hold to, my materiel success or failure. Be opened by Love's wounding.
And trust, despite outward signs... that God alone sees the heart.

So, even when I can't locate those words myself. I find them reflected somehow. They speak for me, when words fail me. Prayer... Yes, it is more a practise of love than an active work.

And when this becomes the one priority all other priorities fall into place.

All work is useless and vain without the infusion, prompt and grace of His love anyway. For a plant to grow strong, the roots need feeding regularly.
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." ...
And I have had to make the time. Make it!
Because I am so in need of it. I fail far too easily without it.
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain."
And I wonder, how is it that so many things can seem important, uncompromising to the day, demands over spill before me and yet these times, just for Him and Him alone become, so very easily, secondary.

Yes I call out to Him like a child when I need Him knowingly. And I whisper praises in His ear when I am met with undeserved grace, beauty, love. But that is in the middle of my doing.
Sometimes I need to put all that aside and simply be with Him alone.
The desire to eat bread for the body comes before the desire to eat bread for the soul, so many times. I wait for restfulness, peace, quiet, my own pursuits, pleasures and leisure's, then Him. Then only. Him and I alone.

I know that my soul wastes away without sustenance. While it is emptiness and privation that motivates longing in the stomach! The longing grows in the soul only with sustained nourishment, or so it seems.

You see, a soul doesn't live to eat, it eats to live! How wonderful is that!
It doesn't take so that it can take again which is so often human nature isn't it.
No, it shares the broken bread of grace, so that it can give, and give out again.

I read again from the hours today... "Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes."

I stand upon this holy mountain of goodness and grace and look down upon my life.
How far below this beautiful ideal I am. How much I need these words to live in my own barren life. Give breath to my actions, my thoughts, my days. Turn my heart of stone to a heart of flesh.
And so someway, somehow. These hours are carved out of a day.

They bring my empty bowl to His alter each time. And each time He serves so that I may become a better servant. And learn to serve Him in those around me.

Pray the office today by clicking on the link below

For years the office of hours has sustained, nourished and
regularly fed souls throughout each day.
If read everyday for a month, 
The book of Psalms will have been completely
recited.
Complimentary readings from both OT and NT, feast days
along with spiritual writing and prayer have been the food
for many a hungry heart for centuries past.

Visit Ann today to read more reflections on the journey...

All Saints...reflection on the Beatitudes.

What I love about the Beatitudes is that they say so much about the nature of God.Our great God blesses the small, the forsaken, the persecuted, the mourners, the meek, the peacemakers, the forgiving, the just, the childlike and pure of heart.


Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10

Glimpses through trees

Everyday, the leaves fall more and the branches become a little barer.
I hear the birdsong still, dancing upon the silent bough.

A tree is like a human soul, yet there is perfection there.
Their roots take only what is necessary from the earth. The leaves absorb the whole spectrum of colours from the sun.
With it they make food.
Embracing the toxins of the atmosphere around them, transforming them in to pure air exhaled.
They make an abundant home for all creatures.
Birds, foxes, owls, rabbits...
Even we find shelter beneath their generous canopy in the midst of the storm, whose arms reach only toward heaven as the rain spills.

They provide wood for all needs, from fire to furnishings.
They warm, sustain and provide shelter.

Year upon year the leaves begin to fall.

And with them, the soil is replenished once more. From beauty, to ashes. From death to life.

Bees gather from their blossom in the springtime.
And the memory still lingers faintly upon the air like pollen.

Even now as they become, brittle, stark and naked as deadwood upon the flame of Autumn.
Hands reach quietly, obscurely, embracing the taut, white canvas of the sky.
Immovable, except for the breeze. And they don't resist it's swell.

Something, invisible, eternal, sacred.
Like church spires along the horizon.

They stand in praise of Him who made them.

Photocredit: starbeard

Come to me all who labour...

"For he calls out to everyone, saying: "Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest". Is it not, after all, a most ridiculous and fruitless labour to be swollen with lust, continually to be tortured with anxiety and worry, fear and sorrow, for the objects of your passion? "

Saint Bruno

(Pray the office today, by clicking on the banner below)

Beauty.... and the Liturgy of Life.

I love it when I am put into other people's shoes, feeling and experiencing other people's temptations, ideas, sorrows, desires. I have become (over time) grateful for when this happens because it has humbled me so much, it has also caused me to sympathise with people I would have very quickly judged.
The other day I was driving through town. I had many different tasks to do, appointments, time constraints, on top of sleep deprivation and just general anxiety which I'm prone too get when stuck in town anyway. I'm sure I have sensation issues, lights, noise, crowds.... just effect me in a bad way, anyhow....
Emmy noticed this beautiful V line of geese, make it's way across the sun mottled sky above us and pointed it out to me.
Beauty has always been so important to me. It stops me hard. I am compelled by it. I have, on occasion, been caught frozen solid in the middle of a crowded street by a glint of sunlight through the branches of a tree, or forgotten my bag on a bench to wander into a little grove of dappled light on the path ahead.
But for some reason that particular day, the juxtaposition of this sacred ritual of flight in the heavens and the stress of the streets reacted toxically within me.
I felt nauseous and irritated.
I simply didn't want the distraction!
Oh, how beauty has become devalued in our highly industrialised world. We simply don't want the distraction. Everything has become streamlined to manage the practicalities of life efficiently. The sacred journey of the geese, the lichen of every green hue imaginable upon the bark of a horse chestnut tree, and the little spider upon the quivering leaf are left unnoticed by most. The deep truths that speak to our very soul within the natural world are not penetrated for the sake of gleaning a breadth superficial knowledge with the questionable agenda of our mental trawling.
Art always reflects it's society. These days even the art we see hanging out upon the walls of modern galleries has become almost utilitarian in it's aesthetic approach. Soulless and aspiring to look factory made, image after image betrays the mark of a Warhol print from his own pre fab style "factory" line productions.
In many ways, art has become about image rather than intent.
With the constant noise of technology buzzing around us and the demands of a life that turns upon it's dizzying axis, children (adults too) have very much, lost the ability to notice, to observe, to recognise beauty.
For economies sake houses are losing their individuality and workmanship. Products, estates, high streets and interiors emphasis the contemporary twin attributes of being streamlined and functional. Our cities are built, not to reflect the art and civilisation of a nation anymore, they are set into the hardened mould of capital gain.
But we humans are not soulless robots.
A thing done for nothing more than the sake of beauty is surely valuable indeed, within it's own right. It's usefulness or economy should not be it's primary reason for existing.
Is it ours?
The Bible tells us that we have been made to know, love and praise the God of heaven and Earth.
Problem is that these days, these high ideals have become relegated to the sidelines of life. The edges and the hard shoulders, for making small pit stops only when we break down completely.
Life is liturgy. It is discovering of the essence of God within all things. It is the fibonacci sequence within nature, ratio's golden rule!
It is harmony, both inner and outer. Yet we are losing segments of the sequence, we are messing with the DNA of the liturgy. The liturgy of life itself, the Word made flesh.
Noticing, observing and recognising beauty in the natural world around us and in the reflection of this in art was what the great philosopher's of the past saw as the very purpose of life.
Education and life wasn't about the repetition of tasks for the sake of both the individual and national economy, it was for the nourishment and expansion of the soul.
How many people take wonderment. How many people have been taught, or shown how through example, to take wonderment from the simple beauty's within nature.
Children, I truly have come to believe, need to been in nature regularly. They need to be taught the liturgy of life.
I'm glad Emmy noticed. It is becoming a gift, noticing. May I always be able to slow down, stop and stare at the sun glinting through the shivering branches of a city tree lifting it's leaves in praise from the 2 by 2 sqaure patch of dirt along the road.

Photo credit: NaPix -- Now in Sapa VN

Two kinds of Emptiness....

Emptiness is a very common complaint in our days, not the purposeful emptiness of the virginal heart and mind but a void, meaningless, unhappy condition.

Lives are overcrowded, filled with trivial details, plans, desires, ambitions, unsatisfied cravings for passing pleasures, doubts, anxieties, and fears; and these sometimes further overlaid with exhausting pleasures which are an attempt, and always a futile attempt, to forget.

The whole process of contemplation through imitation of Our Lady can be gone through , in the first place, with just that simple purpose of regaining the virgin mind, and as we go on in the attempt we shall find that over and over again there is a new emptying process; it is a thing which has to be done in contemplation as often as the earth has to be sifted and the field ploughed for seed.

At the beginning it will be necessary for each individual to discard deliberately all the trifling unnecessary things in his life, all the hard blocks and congestion's; not necessarily to discard all his interests forever, but at least once to stop still, and having prayed for courage, to visualise himself without all the extras, escapes, and interests other than Love in his life; to see ourselves as if we had just come from God's hand and gathered nothing to ourselves yet, to discover just what shape is the virginal emptiness of our own being, and of what material we are made.

We need to be reminded that every second of our survival does really mean that we are new from God's fingers, so that it require no more than the miracle which we never notice to restore to us our virgin-heart at any moment we like to choose.

Excerpts from "The Reed of God" by Caryll Houselander

Photo: Romulo fotos

Finding my life

Still
Be still heart

The storm will not last
don't let the bitter winds
turn you to ice
Come inside.

Sit still and remember
the seed I planted deep inside you long ago...

....As a child you watered it well without even
understanding, you just fell right down and
cupped your little hands into the river's depth

But now there are other concerns
and they grow up like weeds
around the garden of the child
who played among the reeds...

....Sit still a while and remember
where you found me last

I am always here.

"The eyes to see, the ears to hear"

Just sit a while with me,
your own heart is the eye of the storm
that aches in the skies of your thoughts
See my face and not
the wailing rains and swelling tides
they will subside
the waters still
and then you will recognise once more
my reflection upon the
surface of all things


Child, if you can find my heart and my life
within all
...you will find where yours dwells too.

Just do the next thing

Just do the next thing.

Do it with all the love and purpose you can.

Without thinking further

Off into the distance, where

input must equal output

income balance outcome

and the expectation of something better somewhere

someplace, somewhen ... else

can only ever underestimate

the aching sweet

beauty of the

"just now"

I have here with you.

With the giving... ( A Poem inspired by Mother Teresa)

In an embrace,

In a smile,
In the eyes of a stranger
who stayed
When shame danced
drunk with despair
in the rain.

In the pouring

of dreams to a child's empty bowl,
rattling along the fractured
paths falling
between the broken
seams swelling

where lonely tears
seep into the fabric
of absorbed tomorrows

And yesterdays' concrete -
covered dreams sleep
too deep
to be woken.

mutely softly,
still,

silently stepping

over lines

that divide.

That run aimlessly beneath the surface

Across the brokenness

It's in the touch

of a pencil thin mark
sound like the
one gentle voice
above the white noise

of railway stations and
police sirens
falling change...
....sun drenched rain...

In the seeking beyond

the lush green fields

and a vision
that can reach
a lower kind of ground

crossing rivers that wade
between the currents
of race, creed
colour, sound

till something once lost
may again be found

The precious cradled
gently
un-bound.

It's in the space between

the vapour of breath
where hands cup
emptiness
and call it fullness

this touch
of thankfulness

Yes

the kind of love
that sees the mess

and still loves

and a heart
that can only
grow greater

with the giving