Outside my Window... The street is empty. In the distance, past the rooftops of neighbouring houses, I see the trees upon the hill rustling beneath a granite coloured sky. Autumn is on it's way I think :0)
I am thinking... When the baby falls asleep for her nap i'll go downstairs and make dinner and read with the girls.
I am thankful for... How blessed I am too feel God working in and through my life. Having healthy, happy girls. Fullfillment. Finding Joy in simple things. And a gift of hope in life that I know will stay with me no matter what.
From the kitchen... Penne with fresh tomatoe and basil sauce for dinner.
I am wearing... A brown smock top and a long denim skirt.
I am reading... "Who told you that you were naked?" by Br. John Jacob Raub.
I am hoping... That a friend of mine that has been having some struggles will soon find peace.
I am creating... Memories, a journal for my girls, Homemade Christmas gifts.
I am hearing... My little 16 month old babbling instead of snoring like she should be. Maybe she's growing out of naptime ;0)
Around the house... Laundry as usual...
One of my favorite things... How about 4! Listening to my girls play outside making up imaginary stories. A nap in the afternoon after a busy morning, with the little ones snuggled up beside me.
Lighting candles in the evening and saying prayers and reading stories with the girls cuddled up in a quilt on the sofa. A good cup of tea.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week... Getting my four year old ready to start school (sob;0(
Making the most of the last three days of the holidays. Finishing off some craft projects for Christmas presents. Posting an aid box to Zimbabwe.
Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...
A little doll I knitted for the girls for Christmas "Daisy May"
I am thankful for... A surprise bloon of yellow petals as Summer gently fades into Autumn. Our sunflowers have finally decided to wake up from their gangly green stems and put the sun into the rainy days of late August here in the middle of england. Little girls on an adventure. In the depths of Sherwood forest, Robin hood is hiding somewhere and they are determined to find him. What's that noise? I'm sure he's just around the corner Boo!
A little girl who is growing out of babyhood way to fast! Full of sweet smiles, wet kisses and sparkling eyes for everyone she meets.
Sisters who are best friends. Who read stories to eachother, make mischief with each other, cuddle up in bed for naps together, and can never bear to see the other hurt.
Baby curls...
And wondering whatever do angels think about on their days off :0)...
The great St. Antony, the abbot who had spent long years in the desert, passing whole nights in prayer and performing severe penances, aware of how important the virtue of humility is in the spiritual life, asked God to make him profoundly humble. In answer to his prayer, the Almighty directed him to visit two ladies in the neighboring city, who though simple and unpretentious in their manner of life, were, so God told Antony, holier than he who had spent long years in the practice of rigorous penance and unceasing prayer.
On entering their home, the Saint sought to discover the secret of such remarkable holiness; he asked them many questions as to the fasts they made, the length of their prayers, their austerities and the like, so that he might imitate them. He was not a little surprised to learn that they did nothing exceptional.
They observed the fasts of the Church; they said their prayers devoutly; they gave what little alms they could afford; they frequented the Sacraments, heard daily Mass and practiced the ordinary Christian virtues. What impressed the Saint most was that they loved God very simply but very sincerely.
God was the great reality in their lives. They did all their actions for love of Him. They performed their daily duties, seeing God in all they did.
They accepted what happened to them, joys as well as sorrows, as coming directly from His hand. That was all, but it sufficed to explain to the Saint the secret of their wonderful sanctity, viz., they performed their duties well and they loved God.
There are thousands of such hidden, ordinary Saints in the Church now, as there have been at all times.
" If it is true to say that we are our true self (our Christ centered self) it is equally correct to say that we have a false self.
Our false self is our desire (concupiscence) to be "like the gods," that is like, we "should be."
Merton describes this false self as " the exterior" "I" which has a compulsive need to measure up to greatness and infallibility. This "I" seeks recognition, applause, wants accomplishments, and successes. "It is the self which wants to exsist outside of the reach of God's will and God's love, or outside of reality and outside of life. Such a self cannot help but be an illusion."
Our false self is an illusion, but we really have the illusion. It isn't, but this "isn't" is!
"Our false self dosen't exsist, it isn't there," "It's alienated from our true self and therefore God." "It is the "I" I want to exsist outside of reality, therefore not known by God.
For us to be reconciled we must be willing to identify with this lost, then found, soul. Ultimatly, our reconcilliation comes about by the free grace of God through Jesus Christ.
At some time in our life, each of us has to say: "I am the prodigal son."
An excerpt from "Who told you that you were naked?" by Br. John Jacob Raub.
Here are some pictures of when we went rasperry picking the other day. Of course the little ones ended up with red smudged faces lol! Here is Tilly with her white chocolate hedgehog. She wanted to keep him "as a pet" apparently. And would only eat him once he had melted somewhat and no longer really resembled a hedgehog any more :0)
And here is the product of all our hard work at the fruit farm!
I'm one day late with this post I know but I wanted to share a story and I wanted somebody's permission before I shared it:0)
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My Dad is 75 years old. He and my Mum married late and thought after losing their first child they would never have any more. Then I came along! So there's a few years between us.
The feast of the assumption has always been very important to my father.
When he was a young man there was such a thing as National Service in England. My Dad had been a pupil at a Benedictine school called Downside in Somerset.
As with a number of his peers of the same age it was assumed that he would go onto university instead of enlisting for the three years of national service which was mandatory for all those not attending higher education.
My Dad has always loved Horticulture, plants and the outdoors, he could never have worked in an office. He was planning to take a degree in Botany and horticulture, but only after he had served his three years.
He didn't want to distinguish himself from those who maybe wouldn't have had the chance of going to University as an alternative. In those days very few working class people had the opportunity to receive a higher education.
Besides he had a spirit of adventure! He was sent to Egypt at first which to this day he has good memories (and stories) of.
During manoeuvres on Salisbury Plain under the heat Mid Summer something went wrong. A tank accidentally rolled over one of my fathers friends.
Suffering from severe heat stroke he fired his weapon into the sky and was forced to the ground.
He fell unconscious and was in a coma for 6 weeks! In those days they used ECT as therapy. Still nothing worked. It was assumed that he would either be severely damaged or would die. My devout catholic Grandparents were devastated, he was their only son.
Then suddenly, without warning on the morning of August the fifteenth 1956 my Dad woke up speaking with them almost as if nothing had happened.
Even the doctors called it a miracle.
Last night I picked my Dad up all dressed up in his three piece suit Shillelaugh in hand ( His Mum was Irish) and took him to evening mass.
Above us in the sky was a small rainbow about the size of a large full moon. It wasn't arched it was round. The strange thing is that there had not been a drop of rain in the county that whole day. The sky was a pure silvery blue dotted with a few fluffy white clouds. It made me recall the rainbow after the Flood, how it symbolised hope. Which is exactly what the assumption of Our Lady symbolises.
The hope in the belief of Christan's that someday we will be with Our Lord body and soul, completely united and whole.
In this world it is easy to forget that the body is sacred, made in the image and likeness of God. We are all God's children.
On the way home from Mass a beautiful full golden moon slowly appeared through the sky.
Which made me think again of Our Lady and why the assumption is so special. She is the link between us and her son. She reflects the light of the sun like the moon. Even in the deepest darkness that light always shines for us.
Ready to gently awaken us and bring us through the night into a new day, full of hope.
The "Little Ways" of St. Therese have always been something so inspirational for me.
What may appear, small, obscure, unseen, ordinary or unimportant by worldly standards, is in fact like the smallest stiches on a quilt. Though they may be only visable on the inside of the quilt, they are in fact what hold the fabric of the piece together.
St. Therese understood that what may appear to be of no value here on earth, may have great value in the Kingdom of God. Her wondeful quote "To pick up a pin for love can convert a soul" Is something I often find myself returning to.
A smile, a kind word, even the monotonous details of daily work are a prayer.
And for me the greastest prayer has been acceptance which seems, in a way such an ordinary thing, yet it has been something of an evolving process for me.
Acceptance of suffering at times. Yet acceptance also of the gracious gifts of others when my pride tried to resist. Acceptance of my limitations, My faults, stubborness, pride, disatisfaction, indignation, fear.
Acceptance of the limitations and faults of others. Truthfully. And the more I accept my own faults. The more I can love others despite theirs. How can I take offence? It's so much easier to accept that difficulties in a person's behaviour are usually the result of some kind of pain.
Just like my own are. And I hope they accept mine lol!
"Perhaps St. Therese of Liseux, patroness of all missions, was meant to live out a destiny in which her time was limited to the minimum, her actions were reduced to essentials, her heroism was indisernable to those who looked for it, and the scope of her mission covered a mere few square meters, in order to teach us that the effectivness of a mission is not always measurable by the hands of a clock, that actions are not always visible, that missions covering vast distances will be joined by missions that penetrate straight into the depth of the crowds of humanity. In that abyss, these missions will make contact with the human spirit that questions the world, and oscillates between the mystery of a God who wants it to be small and stripped bare, and the mystery of a world that wants it to be great and powerful."
Madeliene Delbrel "We, The Ordinary People of the Streets."
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
A note from someone special....
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* We live in a unique world.
Make it a really great day.
Peace To All and May God Bless You.
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Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Each step taken with Jesus's loving hand as a guide. Falling all the time.
When we first moved to our new rented house, in "not such a great neighbourhood" as I thought at the time, all I could see was dissatisfaction. I cleaned and tidied like mad in a desperate attempt to paper over what I thought were external cracks but were in truth internal ones.
Our garden was filled with rubble and weeds yes, and our floor was nothing but bare unvarnished boards, (not funny when you have a crawling wiggling 10 month old!
But we had some angels on our side and a few hard working helpful hands in tow and before we could blink we had turned the concrete rubble into green grass and the gutted house into a home.
Yet, as soon as we had finished I started to write a list about which furniture we would " have to" replace first, ( all our furniture came from a recycling centre,)
Even though it looked fine in reality, Some itching doubt inside me knew it wasn't new and I was seeing with my bad short viewed, narrow visioned eyesight, instead of with a grateful heart.
Things were not "perfect" in my view.
It's so funny to me now looking back.
Because now I am sitting here 4 and a half years on with two more children and a lot more dust, toys, mess and "imperfections" to look at than I ever had before. Yet, strangely, overwhelmingly, I don't see ugliness any more, I don't see imperfection.
I see joy.
I see the expectation of a new day, a new chance to build a memory, a connection. Sow a seed in a little heart.
I see quarrels at times, yes, but I see growing, independent souls behind them instead of disruption and failure.
I see sand speckled like spray paint over the lawn, where the dandelions seem to have gone crazy multiplying and dividing this year! But I don't see untidiness, I see children having fun with a bucket and spade on a Summer afternoon. I see a memory made in the sand. a footprint that was bigger than last year!
I see a memory made in the heart not the eyes. In love not judgement.
I see books piled up on the children's bedroom floor yes, but I don't see a lack of discipline ( well not to much anyway! I see creativity and children who love to read willingly and gladly!
My vision has shifted.
From my eyes to my heart.
And as I sit here I think of how many blind people Jesus cured. And I know that every time I "see" truthfully. Every time I see the beautiful in the "ugly" and the grace instead of the "chaos" I know it is Jesus who is wiping my eyes with his own hand, with his own truth.
And tears come to my own eyes as I realise that though "I was blind, now I see."
" In order for the tree of our life to spread out its branches over the earth and for the birds to be able to make their nests there, we have to plant the top of the tree below.
The cross on which Peter was crucified upside- down is the image of every gospel life."
excepted from "We, the Ordinary People of the Streets"
Madelieine Delbrel,
I was inspired to read this truly wondeful book by the wonderfully thoughtful Barefoot toward the light
Seraphina is growing so fast! I can't believe that she is a toddler so soon. She still feels like my little bitty baby. She's so funny too. At the moment she keeps kissing everyone and everything. From her own hand to inanimate objects. She kisses pictures of animals in books, she kisses her bears and doll, she kisses her clothes, her food, her bottle, her dummy (soother) or num-a-num as she likes to call it lol :) As you can tell she is very affectionate.
She also nods her head and says yep,yep,yep whenever she's asked a question. Even if she really means no, no, no, like when asked if it would be a good idea for naptime for example.
Another cute thing she does is roar whenever she see's a picture of an animal. Bujana taught her to roar like a lion one day when they were playing and now sheep, pigs, horses even chickens roar heehee!
I just love this big baby stage, it's so adorable. Please don't grow up too fast peanut!
I have just finished reading a book called Simple Spirituality by Christopher L. Heuertz from "Word made Flesh" international ministry. It has really spoken to my heart so deeply.
I just wanted to share it with you all here.
Here is a quote from the preface:
" Though he was on a mission, Jesus was not simply a missionary to the poor. He was poor. He joined the suffering of humanity and entered into the human struggle from the day he was born in the manger till the moment he was executed on the cross. In Jesus we see God entering this world as a baby refugee in the middle of a genocide, wandering the streets with " no place to lay his head" and dying next to two bandits on the imperial cross. It is this Jesus who we are invited to follow. Like the world in which Jesus was born, ours is one of big beasts and little prophets. There are many giants that stand in the way of God's dream. But the great irony is that we have a God that uses the foolish things to confound the wise, the weak things to shame the strong. The great paradox and humour of God's audacious power is this: a stuttering prophet will be the voice of God, a barren old lady will become the mother of a nation, a shepard boy will become their king, and a homeless baby will lead them home."
.The book is a really wonderful testimony to Jesus's core message. The author worked with mother Teresa in Calcutta and relates some of his experiences with great compassion and humility
One image after another. Passed across the internet, newspapers, television, cinema screens, Music concerts.
Of children dying senslessly of preventable illnesses, teenage women working 16 hr days in sweat shops, suffocating poverty, environmental disasters.
It leaves me completly overwhelmed and empty at the same time.
These images of vulnerable people are passed on, it sometimes seems, as a legitamate way of making a difference.
I can watch, feel awful, pass on the message. Pass on.
Pass by.
Yet like these celebrities, clicking their fingers, the irony makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I don't want to "pass on" pass by. A face that cares but does not change in response.
Also, I must admit that unlike the people on this ad clicking their fingers, I don't have any personal wealth to give, and I'm surley not about to attain any. So what more can I do but watch?
Maybe the greatest difference I am able to make right now comes down to what I can leave out of my life than what I can give from it. Maybe it's about what I choose to do with what I have, however small.
As mother Theresa said so well " We can do no great things, only small things with great love."
I have recently put a fairtrade button on my sidebar, this is something I can do.
I can also choose to by my clothes from second hand charity shops or ethical online stores that stock fair trade. I can make my own clothes even! I can choose to buy fairtrade food. Local food from local suppliers. I can even grow my own in an allotment or in a tub in my own back yard. I can stop buying toys for my kids that are probably made by kids in a factory on the other side of the world.
I can go to reycling centres, charity shops for furniture. I can buy secondhand. I can stop buying new gold that is mined by children in Africa who risk their lives everyday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CDwJRz6ySU
I have another button on my sidebar for writing to persecuted prisoners abroad. This is something I can do too. As is being an advocate for cases involving human justice through organisations like Amnesty International. I can write.
I can choose to live simply. Use what I need and when I have no use for it any more, pass it on to somebody else.
It has been easy for me to think I need alot of things to be happy, normal, respectable, respected.
A nice neighbourhood to live in, a larger house, a better car, a great collection of cd's, dvd's, books, elegant clothes, toiletries, ornaments, kitchen wear, accesories, highlights in my hair, baby equiptment, toys, possesions that make a staement about who I am, what I believe in. Possesions that define what sort of social bracket I fit into.
Lifestyles are sold to us all the time, as is disatisfaction. I can choose not to buy into the illusion.
I can choose to make up sandwiches for homeless people in my area or volunteer at a soup kitchen every once in a while. Every day is a gift from God. How can I best show gratitude for that gift? Can I give it back with something more, from myself like the man with the talents. I can increase the value of the gifts I have been given in my life by doing something with them.
I can cut down my children's programs and give that money to children who can't even afford to learn to read. I can do that.
I can visit the old, the sick, the widows in my neighbourhood, offer a helping hand or just stay with them and listen.
I can prioritize.
I can do more than simply watch and click and then watch as others watch and click after me.
Everything that God has blessed me with He has blessed me with for a reason.
And what he has given me does not actually belong to me. Even if I have earned something with my talents I have been given those talents my God.
While my sister lies hungry in Africa I should not be filling my grocery bags with the choicest food. I have not been blessed so that I can indulge without thought.
Sometimes all I do is click my fingers and wait. Wait for somebody else to make the change.
But I can do.
I can pray.
Lord open my eyes to what I can do today.
Let me see my neighbour in the stranger, in the lonley, in the lost.
So that I may stop to help him somehow, in someway ,
Not simply pass on or pass by to the other side of the road.
Lord give me ears that I may hear.
Your voice calling in the homeless, the hungry, the needy, the grieving, the broken, the sorry.
Take my hand and tell me to walk. Lead me to the places where I may find you,
Heal me of my paralysis, when I feel so overwhelmed that I can't do everything,
Boo's illustration of the poem "little things" Emmy's victorian flower press, picked up at a local charity shop for pennies! Art Study of Impressionism Getting started on knitting scarves for Christmas pressies. Emmy's still life.
Sisters who are best friends. Who read stories to eachother, make mischief with each other, cuddle up in bed for naps together, and can never bear to see the other hurt. 
