Love

I pray today Lord, that I may let go of anything that may stop me from truly loving others.

Whether it's because I feel offended or hurt. Choosing to keep my hurt close , picking at the scabs of my indignation till wounds become infected by anger. Instead of forgetting and forgiving so that my heart can be released, truly healed and strong enough to Love fully again. Only with more compassion than ever before for the hurting the offended and those who are angry

or in difficulty.

Sometimes Lord, Love comes second place when my beliefs, the way I see things and my ideas stand in the way of my fully loving someone very different to me. The argument comes out of my mouth taking first place before Love. I don't leave the judgement to you alone. I forget to remember that I am in no place to judge as I am not free from sin. I pick up the stones ready to cast.

Often I even think that my argument is for my neighbour's own good. Yet I am putting a barrier between your love and them with my words. I must learn to place my trust in you. And remember humbly that I have been confounded to many times before to assume I know the best way for another. The best way to represent you is through loving without judging,

I understand that sometimes I fail to love because I turn away from seeing another's heart and simply judge them as I see them in the flesh,

They may come across as harsh or rude or mean or impatient. Yet how many times have I maybe come across badly because of struggle and lack of understanding only to desperatly want acceptance.

Yet you accepted me as I was. And still do, even though I do the wrong things or act in the wrong way with the wrong motivations time and time again. You gently tell me you love me. Just as a mother loves her small child who screams and throws a tantrum simply because that child is still to small to control herself completly or know how to handle her emotions.

It's true that so often find myself expecting perfection from myself and looking for perfection from others too.

Yet your love Lord, is gentle when I fail. You remind me through this that you simply want my love not my sacrifice.

It's true, I know Lord, I fail to reach out as I should and love fully because I am afraid and I put up defences,

I fear hurt or rejection, yet even in hurt and rejection Jesus loved.

I forget that many words are often useless. Yet loving, truly LOVING, even when it seems that my loving is simply being poured into the ground for nothing, is like planting a small mustard seed in the dirt, or adding a small portion of yeast to the dough. Love comes from God alone and will work without dictation and managment of it's course. Somehow, somewhere and in someway simply loving, will make a difference.

Sometimes I am ashamed to say that my love becomes complacent. There is a certain lack of interest, my life is full enough, Surely there is just not enough "of me" to go around. And there isn't. But there is enough of you Jesus if I only lean on you and take your yoke.

There are many barriers that stop your love from flowing freely through me Lord. Most of them are illusionary and of my own making in the end.

Yet for all I do, or say, or think, or believe, or have, or give, or pray, loving should always come first.

A LOvE that is pure, that cleanses all the worries, doubts, arguments, differences, offences, pridefullness, selfish plans and complacency.

Till all that is left is the Jesus in me and the Jesus in my neighbour.

Lord help me to LOVE the way you LOVED.

amen.